Which Jesus Are You? | Easter Pranks Edition

Jesus Quizz: Which Jesus are you?
Easter is right around the corner, and Jesus is on our minds, or at least, one question concerns us: How the hell did he come back to life in 3 days?
So far, the EASTER MIRACLE is our strongest hypothesis, but we’ve laid down key Jesus traits for you so you can self assess what kind of Jesus you are, and perhaps use these characteristics to resuscitate when “needed”!

A) DRUNK Jesus: You order wine by the bottle, and use the holy liquid for pretty much any craving: you want a snack? Boxed wine is your go to! Thirsty? White wine will freshen you up!
B) CAPITALIST Jesus: You never miss an opportunity to make a buck or 2, whether it involves begging on the street or selling your brother.
C) VEGAN Jesus: Kale is your religion, and animals are your bros! You’re also a master at cooking rice.
D) WHINING Jesus: You’re always too hungry, too hot, too cold, and/or too tired. If someone dares put a finger on you, crying is your 1st reaction.
E) ARTISTIC Jesus: Brows always on fleek, you are the makeup tutorial king. You could transform a man into a woman with the stroke of a paint brush
F) LUCKY Jesus: You proudly wear a 4-leaf clover pendant, and probably won more free coffees than one needs in a lifetime! People are usually jealous of you.

Tell us which JESUS you are in the comments below!

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